I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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