This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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