She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
