I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
