Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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