Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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