Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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