Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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