Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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