my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
