he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize