i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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