Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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