Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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