Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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