Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He has the fingertips of a God
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