I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
