she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
