I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
