He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
