She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
