I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
