And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
