porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
