if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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