how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
