sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
