He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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