I think I died a long time ago.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
