I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
