Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
