Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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