you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
