My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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