Me. At least after what I've been through.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
