Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
