ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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