I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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