I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
