so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
