it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
