Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
