My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
