I heard we made out
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize