i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
