Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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