I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
