My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My vagina just recognized that song.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
