This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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