Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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