I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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