i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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