it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
