is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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