My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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