i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
kristin has been a bad kristin
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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