listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When are your genitals available?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
