Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
