Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
