ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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