we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
