what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize