so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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