Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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