I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
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I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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