How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
